intentional intentions.

via ali edwards

i love quotes. i think about them all the time. some by some very wise people. some by the not so wise but poignant all the same. a few favorites of mine are - count your blessings. too many irons in the fire. distance makes the heart grow fonder. moment on the lips, lifetimes on the hips. etc.....
you get the idea.
but the one i hate is things happen for a reason. heard that one? the one people always say to you when you are in a crap situation? really? do you think someone or something out there wanted these things to happen to you? and if they/it did - how horrible are they! no one ever says that to you when you get a promotion, find a $20 in your pocket or score awesome concert tickets. never. that one is always reserved for the crappy times, used in situations of consolation. and i hate it. 3 years ago i kept hearing it over and over coming in my direction and i wanted to just scream. but you can't. you have to smile politely and say back "i know - it will be better soon." when what you really want to say is "yeah? seriously? want to change places???!", which they would say no, 100 percent sure of that.

as some of you may have noticed i did not write up a goals list for april.
this was intentional.
i have not fallen off the wagon, lost my will to my "resolutions".

i also know i promised to have only taken a month off from here and give you my full attention again.
this is no mistake.
i need more time. the reason for all this....march was gone in the blink of an eye!
i don't know how to explain it simpler.
it was here and now it's gone and i am not ready.
i am still working on march's goals but also on something else.

i am working living up to the quote up top there. my new favorite. i am working on living to my width and length around here. more time for kids. more time for tony. more time for me. yes there is still documentation going on. yes there is still picture taking. but the rush to get it out in to the world has slowed down.
i have had that quote stuck in my head for weeks now.
it has shown me that it's okay to allow myself to be present. to help me understand that it's okay to focus on one thing and not have too many irons in the fire. that there is no secret tally going on about how much i accomplish in one go. i am not going to receive a report card telling me how awful i am at something and that i don't have the best of that or that i didn't decorate the fastest or greatest around here. this is not a race. that this life has more to it and to live it. to let go of the little things and grab on to the big.

this has also been a time of reflection and some dreams are starting to be grabbed around here. realized.
someones dreams are starting to come to light. fruition.
my dreams.

so for now i am going to work on those dreams, play board games with my kids, live up to that quote and pop back for a chat & a coffee now and again.
i will be telling you about my table soon and how much i loved working with the hand sander.
just not today.


1 comment:

Rosa @ Flutter Flutter said...

Good for you! I've been living more in the now and worrying less about documenting the now as well... it's been nice!