lost in thought.

With the Christmas season upon us I wanted to sit for a moment and take it all in and count my blessings. I am thankful for two wonderful healthy children (I breakdown every time I see an ad for St. Jude on the TV - showering me with the what if's, the unimaginable). I want them to know how much they are loved and how much they will always be loved no matter what path or choices they make. That whom ever they love and bring into their life will be loved by us - no judgment, no pressure. I'm so thankful that we can provide a safe, warm and happy home for them to grow up in. The type of home that will always be there for them with open arms.

I'm reflecting on the experiences and lessons I had as a child and amazed at how I can apply them to my grown up life - ones that are designed to help us grow and love as a family.

For now I want to soak in the warmth of he season. The anticipation of Christmas morning, the decorations throughout the house and that we are fortunate enough to have family here for Christmas. And twinkle lights. I am always thankful for twinkle lights - the one time of year I can get away with having them in every room of the house.

In the glow of th Christmas tree I am also thinking about my December project. How we will get to look back in years to come and see traditions carried out and when new traditions found us. The beginnings. The growth. To see how year to year the activities change and grow up. How even though the husband gives me a hard time he will be thankful to himself reflect on the years past by turning the pages on a walk back in time.

For now watching the two kids join more in the Christmas activities and embracing the Christmas spirit has been a joy. Cooper, at 4, is taking a more active interest in the season and how Aydan, at 5 and a half, actually seems more grown-up and terribly excited. And how I keep finding little "Aydan"'s printed everywhere on scraps of paper, in writing books (like this draft) or really any paper surface. The joy of growing up. The treasures of life.

How far we have come in a year. From uncertainty to some stability. New city. New home.
New adventure.